Anxious Mama

18 real fears of new mamas

To the mamas featured in this post: It took me 3 weeks to figure out how to write this, because I wanted to handle your fears with care. Thank you for trusting me with them.

I once confessed to a new friend that I sometimes worried the car door next to my baby’s carseat might somehow fly open as I drove.

Random, I know.

She stared back in what I interpreted as disbelief. And then she said it: “I get scared that my baby will reach over, grab the handle and open the car door himself!”

We lost it laughing.

I can’t laugh at all of my parental anxieties quite yet, but her response reminded me that I need to drop my tendency of thinking I’m the only new mama who can’t knock a long list of fears.

Writing this post reminded me again. Going in, I expected each mama I asked to share one, maybe two, top fears. They sent me lists. Of course I had mine.

Here’s what it all looked like:

“What are your top fears, new mama?”

Mama fear #1:

“We should first talk about how crazy I am about germs. Go ahead and share how I walk myself through a cloud of Lysol every day.”

Mama fear #2:

“Choking from coughing, especially when sleeping.”

Mama fear #3:

“Fear of returning back to work was one. Trusting someone else to basically raise your child.”

Mama fear #4:

“That I’m doing something (or not doing something), which is why my child is always sick.”

Mama fear #5:

“Me not stimulating him enough to make sure he’s meeting his milestones.”

Mama fear #6:

“You should’ve seen me on our last trip. There was always a disinfecting wipe in my hand at all times. I so did not expect to be that person.”

Mama fear #7:

“When nursing, not feeding him enough.”

Mama fear #8:

“Teaching him bad habits.”

Mama fear #9:

“Of bottles not being sanitized enough. Even when caretakers try to help, I always re-sanitize.”

Mama fear #10:

“My baby throwing up in his sleep with reflux.”

Mama fear #11:

“I read that if their neck isn’t in the right position their windpipe can close. I’m always checking the baby’s neck to make sure it’s okay.”

Mama fear #12:

“SIDS. Nighttime is so scary.”

Mama fear #13:

“Clorox is basically coming out of my pores (well, Seventh Generation because now I’m crazy about chemicals.)”

Mama fear #14:

“Of visitors overwhelming the baby or of them getting the baby sick.”

Mama fear #15:

“Of any kind of accident happening that leads to my baby dying, especially due to anyone who’s watching him getting distracted or not paying attention for a minute.”

Mama fear #16:

“That someone will touch the baby’s soft spot too hard, or that the baby will hit it on something and it will give them brain damage.”

Mama fear #17:

“One of my greatest fears is honestly just being away from the baby — that something will happen when I’m gone.”

Mama fear #18:

“Of anyone else holding the baby.”

So let this remind you: You’re not the only one with a list of fears, new mama. Even if the things on it are as specific as driving down the street with a wide-open door.

Do you have mama fears to add? Leave them in the comments below!

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